I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately, especially about this goju path we’re on. I got off track somewhere along the line.
Martial arts started me down the path of knowing myself and becoming more. I can’t explain it other than to say there’s a part of me that embraces the term kaizen, or the continual search for improvement. Or as some might say, the relentless pursuit of perfection.
I started teaching karate for two selfish reasons:
- I want to pay forward what I have received; and
- to keep me in the game when there isn’t a sensei around to teach me.
However, after decades of training alone, number 2 is a perk and not a necessity. Because after 50 years, I’m still at it regardless if I teach or not. The effort and intensity wax and wane, but I’m usually working on something, whether outer or inner.
At the moment there is insufficient interest in the dojo to justify the time, attention and energy involved, particularly since it interferes with my own training. Providing even more is out of the question.
Instead, I need to focus on my own ju training, as well as the cultivation of energy laid out in the dojo. (I stand daily. Do you?)
How that manifests here remains to be seen.